


Upside Down, Topsy Turvy and Jumbled

by ThePrimeOne



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Ashe is confused, Background Relationships, Blood and Violence, Eventual Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Lorenz Bullying, Marianne is embarrassed, Pining, Pre-Timeskip, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), graphic description of violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:13:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22024627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePrimeOne/pseuds/ThePrimeOne
Summary: Marianne's feelings and world took a surprise turn she didn't expect after she began attending Garreg Mach. And all it took was a single line for it to change.In which Marianne hears Ashe compliment her in their C Support.
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/Marianne von Edmund
Comments: 9
Kudos: 52





	1. In Which Marianne Hears a Compliment

_“Actually, you’re pretty cute…”_  
  
The moment she heard him utter the complement under his breath was the moment her heart skipped a beat; and not a second later, her world turned upside down, topsy turvy and jumbled to the point she couldn’t recover even the day after.  
  
_“What did you say?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Hm? N-Nothing! Uh… Just keep your head up and smile! I promise you’ll never be mistaken for a ghost again.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Keep my head up and… smile? I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“W-what? H-Hey wait! Was it something I said?”_  
  
Goddess knows what had happened to her in that moment, but all of Marianne’s senses were screaming at her to retreat, to hastily retreat from the kind boy that recently moved into the Golden Deer house, who had treated her so tenderly and with such sincerity that Marianne didn’t feel like a beast.  
  
She almost felt emotions within her that had never occurred to her before, even if they subsided just as quickly as the single moment it surfaced.  
  
Hope.  
  
But Marianne knew she didn’t retreat of fear of Ashe himself… but for something else entirely she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She suspected that the strange, fleeting feeling of ‘hope’ as Marianne interpreted it as was why, but felt there was something more lying beneath that. Marianne had long disassociated herself from fleeting feelings like hope that only served to hurt her when they disappeared, so to feel something akin to that only served to worsen her mood before she collapsed into bed that night.  
  
And yet in the morning after their encounter at the cathedral her mood had shifted from a tired mood of self-loathing to one that was left her in a mix flurry of emotions. Marianne laid on her bed and hugged her pillow tightly as the events of the night before played through her head over and over, a strange feeling of knots contorting her stomach preventing her from getting a decent night’s sleep.  
  
“He called me cute,” Marianne murmured, her face turning as red as Ashe’s when he blurted it out, even if she only recalled the complement aloud to only herself and the Goddess; and maybe Hilda if she mustered up the courage to talk to someone else about it. She shook her head of such thoughts. There was no way in Marianne’s mind that anyone would find someone like her attractive in the way Ashe implied.  
  
She felt extremely uncomfortable by the strange, new feelings she was experiencing and tried her best to push them aside, to which she successfully did for the most part. As she stood up on her feet and began to prepare for the day, she rationalised that his sincerity came from a place of pity rather than genuine, unbridled kindness.   
  
After all, why else would someone want to treat a monster like her with kindness without there being some sort of catch? Marianne closed her eyes and prayed to the Goddess again as she normally did for her morning routine. At the same time, she forced the idea onto herself that Ashe viewed her as a freak and showed kindness to get on her good side, so that her crest may show him enough mercy as to not get killed in battle.  
  
Anything to not give her hope of being pulled out from the darkness, only to be sunk into it again.  
  
She tried her best to make these thoughts the ones she considered to be reality. After all, she had grown comfortable to some extent with the thoughts of doubt and self-depreciation. But even she couldn’t excuse what a mess her heart was in when he heard Ashe call her ‘cute’. The feelings that came along with it were different. Uncomfortable. But a tiny voice in the back of Marianne’s head wanted her to pursue these feelings terribly, to dive head first and tackle them herself.  
  
Marianne sighed. She wondered what her mental state would be if Ashe hadn’t spoken such a pleasant compliment about her. All she knew was that she was already becoming tired of trying to fight back whatever new emotion that had stirred within her due to the encounter from the night before. Once she was ready for the day, she set out for the dining hall and quickly snagged a light breakfast and sat her little corner seat away from the eyes of everyone else.  
  
Marianne sitting on her own wasn’t to say that she hated when she was accompanied by her classmates, but the less problems she caused for everyone, the smoother everyone’s days would go for them and for her. Of course this was a rare occurrence.  
  
Half way through her breakfast the clearing of a throat caught her attention. When she looked up, she was met with a nervous Ashe intensely gripping the sides of his tray.  
  
“U-um, hey Marianne,” Ashe began awkwardly shifting in place.  
  
“Good morning, Ashe,” she automatically responded before moving back to her breakfast. After swallowing a mouthful of scrambled eggs, she looked back up at the grey haired boy who rubbed the back of his neck, his tray now on the opposite side of hers.  
  
“You… don’t mind if I sit here do you? If you’d rather not, I can move if you would like.”  
  
“Oh, n-no, it’s okay, I don’t mind,” Marianne insisted. Better to figure out her sudden change of emotional state with the boy that caused it sitting with her, Marianne justified in her head.  
  
“Ah, that’s good,” Ashe sighed in relief, sitting across from her and beginning to consume his breakfast. The two sat in relatively awkward silence for some time. Marianne desperately wanted to speak, to say something regarding their strange encounter the night before, but couldn’t get the words out. She was already regretting letting Ashe sit with her.  
  
Instead, it was Ashe that spoke up, letting out a small sigh in relief.  
  
“Marianne? I just wanted to know something about last night,” Ashe began to converse, his mind blanking out for a moment. “Did I say something to offend you?” Ashe asked with concern in his voice. “I didn’t mean to run you off with anything I said, so if there was something that made you uncomfortable, would you be able to tell me? Please? Was it that I called you a ghost?”  
  
The adoptive Edmund daughter shook her head profusely. Ashe blinked in surprise at the energetic response considering it was… well, Marianne. “N-No. You didn’t say anything that offended me, it’s just… I had to get back to my quarters as soon as possible. It was getting late when we met, after all.”  
  
Ashe let her response sink in and nodded, a bright smile on his face when Marianne reaffirmed that his fears were nothing to be worried about. Even still, Marianne suspected there was something about that smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Oh, I suppose you are right. Then that’s good Marianne, I’m glad I didn’t do anything mean,” he happily responded with energy Marianne could never hope to muster outside of healing in battle. The two went back to eating their meals in silence, now only a little less awkward than before.  
  
After pondering over the events of the night before for a moment, she wanted to ask him about the murmured complement so terribly, but the words died in her throat when she wished to speak.  
  


Instead, with her head down and eyes up, she simply watched Ashe eat, the poor boy clearly trying to remember the lessons in etiquette he had to take after living on the streets for so long. Before long, her eyes settled on his face, looking at the freckles that dotted a little of his cheeks and nose, watching his eyes furrow as he dug into his food with a knife and fork and a smile on his face like the sun when he swallowed his delicious food.  
  
The sight made the corner of her mouth twitch. ‘He’s cute’ was the thought that passed through her head as she fiddled with her fork in the same way that Ashe was with his own breakfast.  
  
She stood up in shock almost immediately. Marianne began to feel as if she were drowning in embarrassment, her struggle in retreating quickly from the table akin to her struggling to breathe after being underwater for too long.  
  
“M-Marianne? Where are you going?!” Ashe exclaimed as she approached the dining hall door after passing off her tray.  
  
“I… I just remembered need to speak to the professor about something before class,” she half-lied through her teeth. It was less of a need and more of a want. “I’ll… I’ll see you later, Ashe.”  
  
“H-Hey wait…! Oh boy, what did you do this time, Ashe?” the silver haired boy rubbed his head in slight frustration.  
  
Ashe could feel time begin to slow as his thoughts became a mess, constant jabs of self-depreciation filling his mind for somehow scaring her off again. After a few minutes of spacing out and disappointing, half-hearted jabs at his food, a voice startled him out of his daze. “Hey there Ashe!”  
  
The grey haired boy sat up in surprise with a sharp yelp. He turned back to see some of his former Blue Lions classmates approaching his table. Sylvain, Ingrid and Mercedes approached his table.  
  
“Oh! Sylvain, Ingrid, Mercedes. It’s nice seeing you all here,” Ashe tried his best to smile. “Do you want to eat together before class?”  
  
“But of course we do!” Ingrid enthusiastically replied, sitting across from Ashe, Mercedes sitting next to her, Sylvain taking the opportunity to sit next to Ashe.  
  
“So Ashe, how are the Golden Deer House treating you?” Mercedes sweetly asked Ashe, as she usually did. Ashe hummed with quick nods. “They’ve been very accommodating. They’re actually quite the lively bunch, I can tell you that much,” Ashe chuckled, speaking of each of his different classmates, and their quirks.  
  
“Ugh, don’t get me started on Raphael’s conduct,” Ingrid groaned when Ashe bought the blonde, muscled man up as a topic of conversation, earning a chuckle from Ashe who had only recently began to grow used to his habits.  
  
Sylvain smirked when Ashe brought up Hilda, wriggling his eyebrows, commenting something on her ‘hildas’, which earned him a stern earful from Ingrid. Ashe sputtered in embarrassment and Mercedes laughed at their antics before asking about Ignatz, seemingly interested in his not-so secret passion of painting. Ashe couldn’t help but feel sad for his newly met classmate.  
  
The conversation remained quite lively before Ashe deflated slightly, which the others caught onto almost immediately.  
  
“Ashe? Is there something wrong?” Ingrid questioned him waving a hand in front of his face. Ashe jumped a little and weakly smiled right after.  
  
“Actually I do have a question,” Ashe murmured, fiddling with what little remained of his food. “It’s about… Marianne,” he said carefully. Sylvain, Ingrid and Mercedes glanced at each other for a moment before looking at Ashe again.  
  
“Go on,” Sylvain said a little too eager.  
  
“Um… well, it’s just that we had an encounter late night at the cathedral, and I may have scared her off,” Ashe sighed. Ingrid and Mercedes frowned, curious at what their encounter was. Conversely, Sylvain face grew into a large smirk, the redhead throwing an arm around Ashe’s shoulder.  
  
“Oh? What this? Our Blue Lion turned Golden Deer tried to lay the moves on one of the most beautiful fair maidens of Garreg Mach?” Sylvain cackled. “I didn’t know a cinnamon roll like you had it in you Ashe! To think you’d try to do something so private and intimate in the cathedral of all places, how scandalous. Imagine if Seteth or Lady Rhea found out...”  
  
Simultaneously, Ashe threw Sylvain’s arm off his shoulder and Ingrid tossed a piece of bread at Sylvain’s face.  
  
“It’s not like that, Sylvain!” Ashe groaned, burying his red-as-a-ripe-tomato face in his hands.  
  
“Idiot! Don’t embarrass him like that! Apologise this instant!” Ingrid barked. Sylvain held up his arms in surrender, defending his face from Ingrid's barrage of pieces of food.  
  
“Okay, okay, I will!” Sylvain exclaimed. Clearing his throat, he looked at Ashe, though the adopted noble refused to look at Sylvain due to sheer embarrassment. “Hey, Ashe, I’m sorry. I was just trying to mess with you, clearly it was in poor taste… and timing,” Sylvain coughed awkwardly, looking at Ingrid whose arms were crossed clearly not amused.  
  
Mercedes watched quietly, somewhat amused by Sylvain and Ingrid’s antics, but held a vested interest Ashe’s predicament. Once a Blue Lion, always a Blue Lion, as Dimitri said to Ashe during the class’ final lesson together with him.  
  
“Would you care to tell us more about this encounter with Marianne, Ashe? I’m sure some more… context would be appreciated for some of us here,” Mercedes smiled with a quick ‘thank you’ from Ingrid and Sylvain awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.  
  
“Fair enough I suppose,” Ashe agreed. The young former Blue Lion began to explain the encounter he had with Marianne in the cathedral as he searched for his key, mistaking her for a ghost and bits and pieces of their conversation before she ran off, along with explaining what happened in the morning before the Blue Lions trio met with Ashe.  
  
Conveniently, he left out when he called her cute. He didn’t want to hear Sylvain teasing him for it, nor Ingrid or Mercedes should they decide to change their tune.  
  
The three listened intently. Even Sylvain seemed legitimately curious, replying only in hums to indicate he was listening, all without a word out of his mouth (and it kind of shocked Ashe that Ingrid and Mercedes didn’t seem to notice).  
  
The first to speak was Ingrid. “Huh. That’s strange. Nothing you’ve said really indicates that you could’ve done anything to scare her off… except maybe the ghost thing.”  
  
Sylvain ran a hand through his hair. “Maybe. But I’m not really sure. Unless…”  
  
“Her smile,” Mercedes and Sylvain said simultaneously definitively. The two glanced at each other in surprise.  
  
“Go ahead, Mercedes,” Sylvain motioning for the holy woman to continue.  
  
“I cannot recall a time where I have seen that poor girl smile even once,” she spoke, her gaze wandering past Ashe to the window behind him in thought. “Perhaps she was uncomfortable with you wanting her to smile more?” Mercedes wondered. “I do not know her very well, but that is the only explanation I can think of with what you’ve told us, Ashe.”  
  
Ashe leaned his head on his hand with a frown. The idea of not being comfortable with smiling was something that didn’t make any measure of sense to Ashe. But the more he thought about it, the more Mercedes was right in his mind. He never saw her smile. The small welcoming party he and Caspar had on the day they transferred over to the Golden Deer House, the class assignments they had completed together, Marianne successfully passing her soldier exam, and whenever she’d eaten her favourite dishes in the presence of the Golden Deer together. At no point did Ashe ever recall seeing her happy.  
  
And that, quite frankly, concerned Ashe. But it made sense. Ashe assumed that Marianne looked as if she had a rough childhood growing up like many of the students at Garreg Mach did; like Ashe did if the constant bags under her eyes and tired demeanor were to denote anything. But to Ashe’s knowledge, she had no siblings, older or younger that she had to look to for support. Ashe had to be strong for his younger brother and sister, so he was well practiced in both genuine and fake smiles to reassure them that they would be okay. In turn, they would never complain about their position as street rats. Instead, they’d do their best to cheer up Ashe in any way they could when they began to distinguish between his fake and genuine smiles.  
  
The thought of his brother and sister cuddling Marianne the same way they did for him caused a warm smile to form on his lips, one that didn’t escape the notice of the other three Blue Lions students.  
  
Before he could speak again, a bell rang throughout Garreg Mach signalling the start of classes for the day.   
  
“Ashe. Do you remember what Dimitri said in our last lesson together? Once a Blue Lion, always a Blue Lion,” Mercedes answered for him. “If you need to talk to any of us, we’ll be happy to spend time with you when we can.”  
  
Ashe smiled sheepishly at Mercedes with a grateful nod. Ingrid and Sylvain agreed with him.  
  
“Well… maybe except Felix,” Sylvain chuckled. Ingrid nodded sagely.  
  
“Definitely not Felix,” Ingrid agreed with Sylvain for the first time that morning. Sylvain, Ingrid and Mercedes quickly bid Ashe goodbye as they left for the Blue Lions classroom. Ashe pondered over their conversation and felt a little better about himself, but felt a strange nervousness settle with him. Recalling Mercedes’ question about Ignatz, Ashe knew that uncovered secrets, no matter how small always seemed travel fast in Garreg Mach. He only hope that Sylvain, Ingrid and Mercedes would have enough respect to keep quiet about what happened.  
  
Ashe ended up close behind the trio, quickly passing back the plate to the dining hall kitchen staff, power walking to the classroom where his house leader, Claude was saying his goodbyes to Edelgard and Dimitri as they went to their own classrooms. Greeting his new house leader as he entered the classroom, Ashe spotted Marianne who had taken a seat next to Hilda who was chatting away with Lysithea.  
  
The two locked eyes for a moment. Ashe smiled gingerly, while Marianne looked down at the table away from Ashe before he could spot the blush creeping on her face. In that moment, the image of a happier Marianne came to mind, who would give him a smile so genuine and pure that couldn’t help but repeat his compliment while staring at the side of her face. Ashe felt a blush creep up his neck and to his face, feeling like he was about to become Sylvain had be kept looking any longer.  
  
Even still he couldn’t help but murmur: “I wonder what your smile looks like, Marianne,” his head leaning on his hand in deep thought. It wasn’t until Byleth snapped him out of his gaze with a question that he realised he hadn’t been paying attention to the lecture for almost ten minutes. It took him a little longer to get the feeling that he was about to stumble into a rabbit hole that he wasn’t sure he was going to get out from, nor was Ashe sure if he wanted to stop.  
  
If only he realised that the comment he made in passing didn’t escape the ears of one Claude von Reigan.


	2. In Which Ashe Gets Teased

“Marianne? Is there something wrong?”   
  
Marianne jolted out of her daze, locking eyes with her professor. Marianne shook her head.   
  
“Um, sorry. There’s nothing in particular that’s wrong, professor, I just spaced out a little,” she explained, her professor nodding with the same blank expression she always wore on her face. Whether she picked up on Marianne’s half-truth, the professor didn’t explicitly mention, and Marianne was grateful that was the case.   
  
Her professor hummed as she scanned over Marianne’s soldier exam with an approving nod.    
  
“You’ve done very well Marianne. Not many people can pick up on using both a lance and a sword as quickly as you have without any prior experience. You should be very proud of yourself,” the professor complimented her. Marianne spotted a small smile forming on the professor’s face as she sipped her tea. Marianne couldn't help but replicate that smile too.  
  
"Before you know it, you'll have Felix begging you to spar with him," the professor chuckled.   
  
“Oh… um, thank you, professor. I never thought I’d ever be able to use a weapon like a lance even after you started training me, but I suppose being able to defend Dorte is a nice thought,” Marianne barely whispered, recalling the time her professor convinced Marianne to even pick up a lance and sword. “But I don’t understand- ”  _ how can you look so bored one moment but smile so easily a moment later-  _ “how did you know to get me to start using a weapon? You seemed very confident I could use one effectively.”   
  
Her professor shrugged. “Who knows,” she replied with an odd glint in her eyes. “Just call it a feeling.”   
  
Marianne pondered her response, unsure of how to interpret it; she opted to take a sip of her Lavender Tea instead Of govong the response further thought.   
  
_ “How did the professor know I like Lavender tea too? I’ve never told her at all... _ _  
_ _  
_ Once the thought crossed her mind, she brushed it aside. Knowing her professor, she’d cryptically respond with ‘just call it a feeling’ again.  
  
Her professor hummed, head resting in her right hand in deep thought.   
  
“Marianne.”   
  
“Y-yes?!” Marianne squeaked.   
  
“Have you been feeling a little under the weather? A little more than usual, I mean.” Marianne blinked, unsure how to answer the question; feeling ‘under the weather’ was a constant for Marianne.   
  
‘ _ Not being under the weather would be more concerning, professor _ ’ is the thought she wanted to say, but she blurted out instead, “No, I don’t think I have.”   
  
Her professor hummed, her rubbing her chin her chin as if she were picking and choosing carefully a statement to respond to Marianne, or perhaps another question entirely.   
  
“Well, I suppose I can’t argue with that. But before you go Marianne, I do have something to inform you on.” The professor took another sip of her tea and looked into Marianne’s eyes that once again left her vulnerable. “In case you’ve forgotten, for this month’s mission we will be heading into Kingdom territory to retrieve a weapon that was stolen by an infamous thief and his gang. Their leader is a man by the name of Miklan. He’s Sylvain’s older brother.”   
  
Marianne tensed at the name. For the couple of months since her arrival at Garreg Mach, whispers of Sylvain’s name had emanated in the halls amongst the women of Garreg Mach. His escapades of throwing himself at women only to push them away had grown in infamy as time passed; even Marianne had been on the receiving end of Sylvain’s incessant flirting. To Marianne’s relief, the professor didn’t miss Marianne’s uncomfortable shift in her chair.   
  
“I had originally assigned you to be his adjutant, but I have become acutely aware that may cause… problems; and from one of his very own classmates, no less,” the professor mused with an edge of displeasure. “With that in mind, Ingrid has volunteered to come with us to keep him in check, especially due to the personal nature of the mission.”   
  
Marianne felt relief wash over her, the burden of having to deal with Sylvain’s, quite frankly off-putting flirting quickly lifted off her shoulders.  
  
“So instead, I’ve assigned Ashe to be your adjutant.”   
  
Her shoulders felt heavy again.   
  
“Adjutant? Me?” Marianne blurted out, utterly baffled at having an adjutant assigned to her, rather than the other way around. The other way was comfortable and the professor knew this. And yet without so much as a care in the world, she’d not only effectively put her on the front lines before they’d even left Garreg Mach, but had assigned her the one person she was trying to avoid entirely.   
  
The memory of their encounter began to swirl in her head again, Ashe’s very quiet compliment replaying on full blast in her head. Marianne knew there had to be something wrong with her for Ashe’s compliment (that she knew he didn’t want her to hear) turning her into an emotional mess, but the same compliment from the few people that spoke it before him meant nothing to her.   
  
Sylvain was clearly being insincere as he always has been, very eager to get a kiss out of her and perhaps a little more had she felt any desire to submit to him.   
  
Claude was only trying to break the ice when he spoke to her for the first time. Not an effective way to get someone to open up in Marianne’s opinion, especially when he was so secretive himself.   
  
And Hilda was being friendly at best, trying and lift her spirits. Marianne had suspected there was something a little more to it than her being friendly for some time, but the way Hilda had her eyes eagerly glued to Caspar before, and  _ especially _ after his move to the Golden Deer had clued her in otherwise.   
  
Ashe was an anomaly. An anomaly that she’d prayed to the Goddess about over and over again in the hopes his honeyed, yet sincere words, adorably freckled face and sea green eyes would escape her mind-   
  
Her head fell down towards the ground. She was doing it again.  
  
“Marianne? Is there something wrong with this arrangement?”   
  
Marianne lifted her head back up quickly. “Um, n-no, there isn’t,” she stuttered.   
  
This time, the professor raised an eyebrow. Marianne knew that the professor knew something was off.   
  
“If there’s anything that’s wrong Marianne, you know you can tell me.”   
  
Marianne took in the professor’s words and nodded. “...Professor. I’m not sure if I would be suited for the front lines in the upcoming mission. I know I just completed that soldier class exam, but using a weapon in battle and a weapon in practice are two very different things. I’m not sure I could be of much to you or anyone else.”   
  
The professor swiftly shook her head. “You’ve been a great deal of help to many of us in more ways than one, Marianne. You may not see it yet, but I’m sure you will one day,” she reassured Marianne.   
  
“With that being said, I’m sure I can make it work. Your healing abilities are quite remarkable on their own, even compared to Lysithea’s. With the addition of Sylvain and Ingrid on this mission, having you and Ashe on the back lines would be quite beneficial,” the professor mumbled, mulling over battle formations among other things that she and Claude had spoken the day before. Marianne was more than happy to hear   
  
“Very well Marianne. You may hang back for our next mission. You'll instead be covering our flank with Gilbert, a high-ranking Knight of Seiros alongside Ashe. I presume this arrangement is preferable, given your previous request?"  
  
Marianne contemplated the changes the professor made on the fly in silent awe. She was still stuck with Ashe to some extent… but that wasn't something she was going to think about in the heat of battle. With a silent nod, her professor smiled.  
  
"Good. Besides, Claude wont say no to another active healer and archer covering our backs, after all. Although, I will still give you a weapon, a lance or a sword of your choice to hold onto. It is absolutely critical you gain an idea of real world experience when defending yourself, because I can assure you that none of the Golden Deer want you to die, Marianne.”   
  
“I see. Well, thank you for not putting me on the front lines, professor. I… I’ll do my best to support everyone as I can."   
  
“But before that I have a question to ask of you.”   
  
“Yes? What is it?” she asked, feeling a little more eager to take her leave. “Tell me, have you been avoiding Ashe as of late?”    
  
Marianne’s face paled. How did she know? “A-ashe? Um… why do you ask?”   
  
The professor reached out for a small cookie and bit into it, the growing tension in the room becoming more palpable by the second. The professor finally set the cookie down to speak, the young woman’s gaze piercing straight through her and into her soul. Marianne couldn’t help but feel incredibly vulnerable, but her trust in her professor kept her from running away from the table.   
  
“Both I and a certain classmate of yours have noticed that you have been avoiding Ashe outright whenever possible, and he himself is starting to display similar behaviors like yours in class.” Marianne gulped, becoming racked with guilt. “And on the occasion I put you two together, your teamwork on chores and in-class work has become… a little less satisfactory, a little more consistently,” the professor explained.   
  
“Said classmate that has spoken to me about this is also quite concerned for you. They’ve told me they’ve tried to broach this topic with you for some time but to no avail.” Marianne balled her fists. She really didn’t want to think about such things at the moment, and would rather have a moment’s reprieve either praying in the cathedral or hiding away in her room.    
  
“I know this may be a bit overwhelming for you Marianne, to bring this up so suddenly, and I’m sorry- but I want my students to be as happy when in my classes and interacting with each other. And as your professor, I'm more than willing to set aside more time to speak to you about these matters. In fact, if you would rather go to think about it and answer me later, then by all means…”   
  
Marianne stood on her feet almost immediately. “I-I’m sorry professor, but I really have to go! Thank you for the tea- and I hope you have a good day,” Marianne said quickly, shuffling away from the table and the garden, retreating to the cathedral.   
  
She needed to pray to the Goddess again.   
  


* * *

Ashe paced back and forth in his room, staring at the floor. In spite of mind conjuring up nothing when his mind drifted back to the topic on the forefront of his mind, he couldn’t help but let the question consume him.    
  
“Why does Marianne avoid me so much? Did I do something wrong?” The question had been playing Ashe so much that he lost sleep over it; which combined with his exhaustive training the day before, confined Ashe to bed rest all day.  
  
Ashe pondered the questions once again with a yaw, sprawled out onto his bed. “Was it that I called her a ghost? It must be. Why else would she want to avoid me so much?”   
  
Ashe stared back at the ceiling as it bore down on him. “Then again, she’s always like that with everyone isn’t she? I wonder why?” Ashe leaned into his pillow, his eyes fluttered down closed, his final thoughts of Marianne just as sleep claimed him.   
  
“Hey Ashe?! You there buddy?!”    
  
“Bwuh!” Ashe yelped, having almost rolled off the bed from jumping in surprise. Having steadily placed himself on his two feet, Ashe waddled over to the door, greeting the person who called out to him on the other side of the door  
  
“Claude! Ah, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Ashe asked politely. Claude smiled, but Ashe saw hints of a smirk on his face; evidently not a good sign, Ashe thought as Claude placed a hand on his hip.    
  
“Hey Ashe, how’s it going?” the Reigan heir greeted Ashe. “Considering you look like Marianne with your bags under your eyes, I think I’ll just cut right to the chase so you can get some sleep. You see, Teach has proposed that after our next mission, that the Golden Deer get together to have a… celebration of sorts, out on the town.” Ashe gave some thought to the proposed idea and attempted to speak before Claude suddenly cut him off.   
  
“While normally this would be a problem, considering Seteth is quite prickly about curfew times, thankfully Lady Rhea herself seems to have strangely agreed to this outing with little objection. The only catch is that he and Flayn come with us. It seems poor Seteth doesn’t trust us that much, nor does he trust his sister to be safe on her own in the monastery walls.”   
  
Claude trailed off after the mention of Seteth and Flayn. Ashe knew that look, it always came when Claude seemed to strike up a crafty idea in battle or the beginnings for an answer in class. Ashe didn’t want to distract Claude, but felt quite awkward having his current house leader standing in front of his dorm all silent.   
  
“Ahem. Uh, Claude?”    
  
“Hm? Oh, ah, sorry about that Ashe. Just caught up in a little theory I thought of,” Claude cleared his throat. “Anyways, there’s a restaurant that Teach has had an eye on for some time outside the castle walls, the one that you gushed to Marianne about, remember?” Claude reminded the red-faced Ashe at the memory of the amused stares of his classmates as he raved on about the restaurant to Marianne mid-class. “We’ll be going there on the Saturday after we're expected to return from this month’s mission. If you want to come, meet us there when sunset begins, okay?”   
  
“Okay. I’ll keep it in mind for the future. Thanks Claude,” Ashe smiled. Claude flashed a smile back at him, though this time around, Ashe couldn’t help but feel it was different than the other smiles Claude gave other people.    
  
“No worries, Ashe! I’ll leave you to your nap now. Get some sleep, okay? We’ll need you all rested up for tomorrow’s march!”   
  
Ashe placed a hand in front of his mouth to cover his yawn. “Will do, Claude.” Ashe already fell back on top of his bed before his door slammed shut, Ashe drifting back to sleep once more…   
  
“Oh. Oh no,” Ashe whispered, his eyes shot open. Leaping out of bed, he stumbled out of his dorm room. “I completely forgot that I was supposed to be on cooking duty with Dedue today!” Ashe panicked, noting how far the sun had set and dashing toward the dining hall and into the kitchen as fast as legs could carry him.   
  
“Ah, Dedue,” Ashe panted, “I’m so sorry, I… huh?”    
  
Ashe blinked in surprise when he came face to face with Mercedes and Dedue giving him incredulous glances mid-way through cleaning up. “Ashe. Is there something the matter?” Dedue spoke up first, much to Ashe’s surprise.    
  
“Ah, Dedue, Mercedes. Yes, there is actually. I completely forgot that it was my turn to assist you with cooking duty today. I just got so distracted with other people that I completely skipped out on helping you today. I’m so terribly sorry…”   
  
Dedue blinked and looked at Mercedes, the former's face pulling up into a rare tiny smile (surprising Ashe once again) and the latter covering her mouth as she let out a giggle. The former Blue Lion glanced incredulously at his friends with blinks of confusion.   
  
“Ashe. Have you already forgotten?”    
  
“Forgotten what, Dedue?”   
  
“We do not have cooking duty until after you get back from your next mission. I am simply here to assist with cleaning until His Highness has finished having tea with your professor.”   
  
Oh.   
  
Ashe let out a frustrated groan, rubbing his eyes. “Does that mean I missed out on dinner too…?” Ashe dejectedly asked.   
  
Dedue shook his head. “No, Ashe. In fact, Mercedes and I were going to bring this dish to your room had you not just arrived,” Dedue pointed to a nearby plate Mercedes uncovered, revealing a delicious pheasant roast with a sauce he hadn’t seen before underneath. Ashe’s eyes widened at the sight of the beautifully put together dish, his favourite in particular with one especially stand-out aspect of the dish.   
  
“That smell… it’s not the normal berry sauce with the pheasant. Dedue, are those the duscurian spices that you used when we last cooked together?”   
  
The larger man nodded. “Indeed. I was just as surprised as you were when I discovered that tonight’s dinner had not only used them at all, but used them quite effectively”   
  
Ashe’s mood brightened. “Well, what are we waiting for? I’m starving, and this is the perfect meal to satisfy my growling stomach,” Ashe excitedly strode to the dish, carefully carrying it to the empty dining hall. As he turned his back, he saw Mercedes motion for Dedue to follow with a large grin than before, but Ashe didn’t care enough to piece together why. Mercedes and Dedue eagerly followed after him and sat together opposite Ashe. Mercedes hummed as the pleasant smell of the dish reached her nose from across the table.    
  
Ashe dug into the food, savouring every bite. The dish itself was already amazing in Ashe’s eyes, but the spicy marinade that substituted the berry sauce accentuated the pheasant brilliantly and made it even better.   
  
It was a stroke of genius that he hadn’t thought of- just another thing Ashe knew he had to improve upon for the future.   
  
“It really is quite nice, isn’t it?” Mercedes looked between Ashe and Dedue.   
  
Dedue hummed. “Agreed. The combination of spices used to create the marinade would have to have been quite precise as to not overpower the taste of the pheasant meat. I imagine you were the reason this turned out so well, Mercedes?”   
  
“Actually, if you can believe it, I completely forgot to tell my partner on cooking duty the proper measurements for such a marinade she wanted for the pheasant. They managed to figure it out all on their own.” The blonde woman giggled, evidently a little embarrassed underneath her laughter.   
  
“Oh? I’m impressed in that case,” Dedue’s eyes widened in genuine surprise. His gaze fell on Ashe, the latter cutting his remaining pheasant into pieces. “I see you are enjoying yourself there, Ashe.”   
  
“Of course!” the Gaspard heir instantly agreed. “I never thought to use the duscurian spices on a pheasant dish, but now I wish I had. It may be a little odd to not taste berry sauce, but the spicy marinade is just as good- maybe even better. I’m surprised I hadn’t thought of doing this myself, I really must give the chef my compliments.” Ashe passionately rambled, biting down on mor pheasant.   
  
Mercedes' smile almost flickered into a smirk. “That’s wonderful to hear Ashe. I’m sure Marianne would love to hear such praises coming from you.”   
  
Ashe almost choked on his mouthful of food.   
  
“M-Marianne?” Ashe coughed, having swallowed the food that almost got stuck in his throat. “Marianne made this?”   
  
“But of course,” Mercedes confirmed. “She was also quite adamant about making that particular dish as a part of the selection for tonight’s dinner too. I wasn’t quite sure why, but I suppose if you liked it so much, then you must be the reason she had little hesitation trying to make a meal that appeals to you so much, especially with the modifications made and all.”   
  
“M-me?! Well, that’s quite generous of her. I suppose I must thank her as soon as I can, then,” Ashe stuttured in genuine shock, focused back down on his plate to finish his meal. Mercedes noticed Dedue’s gaze on her and winked at the young man. “A wonderful idea, don’t you think Dedue?”   
  
“It would be the polite thing to do, yes,” Dedue replied, taking Ashe’s plate and utensils when the plate had no traces of food remaining.   
  
“Well then, now that you’ve had something to fill your stomach, go get some sleep,” Mercedes said sternly, throwing Ashe off with her uncharacteristically sudden mood change. Dedue side-eyed Mercedes with a raised eyebrow, evidently taken off guard by her demeanor. It didn’t go unnoticed by Ashe, but he didn’t feel the need to comment.  
  
“You look incredibly tired and you’re marching for Kingdom territory tomorrow, so you’ll need all the energy you can get,” she motioned for him to leave a poke on the nose. Ashe awkwardly said his farewells, almost stumbling down the stairs outside the dining hall in the process.   
  
When Ashe disappeared from sight, Mercedes returned to the kitchen, unsurprised to see Dedue already hard at work putting away utensils, pots and pans in the right places.   
  
“It’s not like you to act so… serious, Mercedes.”   
  
The older woman joined Dedue’s side, assisting him with the final stages of clean up for the night.    
  
“Oh? Are you saying I’m never being serious, Dedue? That I’m always being an airhead?”   
  
Dedue’s eyes widened in alarm, hearing a mix of emotions in Mercedes’ voice. “Ah, that is not what I meant. My intention was…”   
  
Mercedes’ face softened. “It’s okay Dedue, I know what you meant.” Mercedes grabbed the last stack of plates and placed them into a cupboard near the sink. “I only acted as such in Ashe’s best interest. The poor boy looked like he had matching bags under his eyes with Marianne.”   
  
Dedue rubbed his chin. “Speaking of Marianne. Was it you who informed Claude of their… ‘encounter’ together? It would seem that most, if not all the students at Garreg Mach now seem to be aware of something between them. I would not be surprised if Seteth were to begin an intervention of sorts should Flayn say something to him about it.”    
  
Mercedes laughed at the thought of Seteth performing an intervention between Ashe and Marianne (of all people) and shook her head. “I don’t think Seteth would focus his efforts on something so… well, mundane. And no, not at all, it would be unbecoming of a holy woman to speak of secrets that are not mine to tell.”   
  
“That is fair. I suppose your Matriz family recipe is much the same in some cases.” Mercedes glanced at the Duscurian man, whose back was to the holy woman. Mercedes smiled as she leaned against the counter in thought.    
  
“In a way, you’re right. But my secret family recipe is also a secret of mine only for me, for Annie… and for you, Dedue.” Mercedes suppressed a giggle seeing the imposing man freeze at mere words. “Since you’re so eager, how about I teach you right now? Not only am I in the mood, but I would appreciate your company..”   
  
“Well… I suppose it can’t hurt to indulge myself at such an hour,” Dedue coughed, his face red.   
  
Mercedes excitedly clasped her hands together. “Great! Let’s begin right away, shall we?”   
  


* * *

The march from Garreg Mach to the Kingdom began at the crack of dawn. The professor had come to all of their dorms individually before the sun rose to make sure any last-minute preparations were close to finished before they had to leave, and to wake anyone up that hadn’t dragged themselves out of bed.    
  
In this instance, Ashe was one of these people. Interrupted from a rather pleasant dream where he and his siblings were lying on a field counting stars, Ashe fell out of his bed when a loud knock rang throughout his room. Leaping to his feet, Ashe sprinted to change into the appropriate uniform, a standard fighter class uniform. Ashe wasn’t fond of violence at all and preferred more diplomatic solutions to conflicts, hence why he preferred to fight from long range, where he wouldn’t have to hear the cries of death ringing so close to his ears as he took a life.   
  
The professor had other ideas for him. Memories of Lord Lonato’s rebellion and the then Blue Lion assisting the Golden Deer flooded his mind against his wishes. He remembered when he confronted his father, every arrow he fired either being easily dodged or bouncing off his armour, the spare hand axe he had kept on him doing little to deter Lonato as he stood over Ashe. It was this weakness of the body that had led to his eventual change to a fighter, in order to fend for himself.   
  
Ashe was thankful Lonato had hesitated killing him, the professor and Claude chasing him down to back him into a corner, allowing Ashe to recover and one chance to speak to Lonato, begging him to stop.   
  
But he refused, and he paid for it with his life.   
  
Ashe hated it. First his parents, and now the only other parental figures he had, Lonato and Christophe, were both now six feet under. He was all on his own with his siblings when it came to family.   
  
Thankfully, many at Garreg Mach had been there for him, including Marianne and the professor.   
  
_ “I.. I’m praying for him. Lord Lonato, I mean, that he passes on safely to be with the Goddess.” _   
  
_ “I know the last mission was difficult for you, Ashe. If you anything you’d like to talk about, my door is open for tea this weekend.” _ _  
_ _  
_ Marianne and the professor’s words of support amongst the others had kept him going as he delved into information regarding the Western Church, through the Church itself and through letter correspondence to the current governing body of the Gaspard region.   
  
And before he knew it, he was greeting the Golden Deer a good morning, as a new member of their class alongside Caspar.   
  
Ashe fastened a belt on his uniform, striding out to the front of the castle grounds where the remaining Golden Deer, and some of the Blue Lions and Black Eagles were there to greet their current and former classmates off.   
  
“Ashe!” Dimitri called out to him, with so much energy that Ashe assumed he didn’t even sleep the night at all.   
  
“Y-your Highness? Dedue? What are you doing here?” Ashe reeled back in surprise, Dimitri and his vassal, Dedue appearing from out of thin air behind him.   
  
“Why? Well, what else? To see you all off of course,” Dimitri smiled. “After all, it will be rather strange with three of our Blue Lions all gone off on such a dangerous mission,” he explained himself. “Don’t you agree, Dedue?”   
  
“But of course. But don’t worry, I’ll have meals cooked for when you return, a little more than usual at least accounting for Raphael…”   
  
Ashe chuckled. “Thank you Dedue, I’m sure everyone will appreciate all the hard work you’ll put in when we get back.”   
  
“Now hold on there, your Highness,” a new voice interjected, Claude inserting himself into the conversation. “Did I hear something about Ashe being a Blue Lion? Did you already forget? We snagged him right out from under your noses, and now Ashe over here is part of the Golden Deer,” he smirked.   
  
“Of course,” Dimitri replied politely. “But as I’ve said to Ashe before: once a Blue Lion, always a Blue Lion.”   
  
“If you insist, your Highness,” Claude shrugged. The house leader looked to where the professor was and waved her down. “Looks like we’re going to leave now. We should go meet with Teach now Ashe so we don’t leave you behind.”   
  
“A good point. Claude. Ashe. Good luck out there to you and your house. And please keep an eye out on Sylvain for me, please?”   
  
“That’s what we have Ingrid here for,” Claude winked, turning to the convoy again.   
  
“Ah you’re right, they’re leaving right now! I’ll see you around Your Highness, Dedue and thank you!” Ashe called out as he and Claude raced down the hill to the convoy, Dimitri's farewell only faintly heard as the duo jumped into the back of a wagon, joining Sylvain and the male members of the Golden Deer.  
  
“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you run that fast Ashe. Must’ve set a new record today,” Ashe's eyes met Sylvain's an amused grin adorned on his face. Sylvain held out a hand, which Ashe took it and shook. “It’s nice to see you again, Ashe. How have the Golden Deer been treating you?”   
  
Ashe raised an eyebrow. “Don't you already know this Sylvain, I'm sure we discussed this over dinner.”   
  
Sylvain sighed. “Well, in that case, what about you, Mr. Leader? Has Ashe been behaving himself in class?”   
  
Claude leaned back on the edge of the wagon. “I would say so. Very attentive and always eager to learn,” Claude praised him, pretending Ashe wasn’t there. Asje blushed from the praise.   
  
“Ah, it’s not that big of a deal…”   
  
“Although,” Claude interrupted him, rubbing his chin in thought. "There have been a couple of times where he’s been distracted in class. Or more specifically, distracted by a certain someone,” Claude grinned at Sylvain. Sylvain’s eyes widened into a smirk, quickly directing it at Ashe.   
  
“Oh? Does Ashe here have a little crush on someone?”   
  
Ashe groaned, already growing irritated. “It’s not like that…”   
  
“I don’t hear a no,” Sylvain rebutted. “So who is it? I promise I won’t say anything, really! In fact, I’ll help you score a date if you’re so inclined, you just gotta drop one name..”   
  
Ashe buried his head in his hands in shame. He wished the wagons hadn’t been split between men and women for whatever reason. Having Ingrid in the wagon to berate Sylvain and Claude for their behavior would’ve been extremely helpful. “I don’t have a crush on anyone,” Ashe spoke with a little more force in his tone.   
  
“Really?” A new voice spoke up, Raphael finishing off some food he took from the Kitchen before leaving.“Cos I remember that one time when you were rambling about that fancy restaurant to M-”   
  
“Now that’s quite enough!” a frustrated voice spoke out. “I cannot allow for this blatant disrespect to continue. If Ashe insists he does not have any romantic interests, nor does he wish to discuss the topic, then please speak of something else and allow him to his right to privacy!” Lorenz exclaimed. “You especially Claude, should be well aware of this as the future leader of the Leicester Alliance. You should know better than to rile people up like this!”    
  
“Ah Lorenz, you really know how to put on a rousing speech don’t you? Perhaps if you put in the same effort to successfully court a woman, you wouldn’t be so frustrated with playing second fiddle.”   
  
A small chorus of ‘oohs’ erupted from the wagon, mostly from Caspar and Raphael. Ignatz's jaw dropped in shock.   
  
“I beg your pardon?!”    
  
“I said what I said. In fact, I even saw you getting all buddy-buddy with Leonie the other day. What’s up with that? Trying to court commoners now, Mr. Noble? I can’t imagine your father would approve of her, especially at the prospect of grandkids with the blood of a commoner and a noble flowing through them.”   
  
Lorenz’s face turned a deep red. “How appalling, Claude!” Lorenz exclaimed. Ashe sighed in relief as Claude and Lorenz’s bickering become the topic of interest amongst the other boys, Ashe’s ‘crush’ slipping from their minds.   
  
‘I’m sorry, Lorenz’, he thought sympathetically, but equally grateful his classmate tried his best to redirect the conversation.  
  
Ashe sighed rubbing his head in quiet frustration, reflecting over the past two weeks, noticing a strange pattern in hindsight: various students either began to act strangely around him, or asked the same question of who he might be crushing on.   
  
Ashe found the question to be rather embarrassing, not out of fear who the mystery person he (theoretically) held feelings for being discovered, but the relentless teasing he got. First from Sylvain with his embarrassing thought that he tried to be…  _ intimate _ with Marianne in a cathedral, then a sly grin in passing from Claude alongside an amused giggle from Hilda, a thumbs up from Caspar, a lecture from Ferdinand about how to approach and court a lady and the strange comment from Mercedes the night before.    
  
Of course, Ashe wasn’t dense. He knew it all came back to Marianne. Somehow, someone outside of Sylvain, Ingrid and Mercedes got wind of their encounter at the cathedral at night, and talked to someone who talked to another person, who talked to another. All spiralling into a giant ball of speculation, misinformation and rumors from all corners of the school. Ashe wasn’t surprised in the slightest, more annoyed at himself for even entertaining the idea of his former Blue Lions classmates knowing about his predicament.   
  
Or more accurately, Sylvain.   
  
‘At least she didn’t she didn’t hear me call her cute’, Ashe thought, embarrassed that he even mumbled it at all. More importantly, Ashe thoughts wandered to her running off when they last ate breakfast. Ever since then, Ashe hadn’t mustered up the courage to approach her and apologise for whatever he did.   
  
Ashe looked up and spotted a wagon across from them, filled with his female classmates as they conversed with each other about something Ashe was sure to be more interesting than his love life. Between Lorenz and Sylvain’s shoulders, Ashe spotted a familiar tuft of hair light blue hair.   
  
The owner of the hair looked up, sighing in clear boredom. Looking across to his wagon, their eyes locked for a moment. Marianne’s brown eyes bore into Ashe’s silver, as did his to hers. Ashe instinctively smiled, Marianne’s immediate response being to look down and away from Ashe.   
  
The Gaspard heir sighed.   
  
What did he do wrong?   
  


* * *

According to the professor, they'd made significantly more progress towards Conand Tower which lay between the Galatea and Fraldarius territories thanks to Ingrid's presence. Being the daughter of Count Galatea meant easier communication with the Count, which allowed their convoy swift access into and out of Galatea. This meant they only had to set up camp for one night next to the exit of a forest they'd been trekking through for most of the day.   
  
As the small army settled down for the night, camp fires were set up, comrades and friends chatted with each other over dinner rations.  
  
Marianne, unfortunately, was not in the mood for such festive chats, but couldn't head back to her tent to hide away as it hadn't even been set up yet. Instead, Marianne wandered out to a nearby open field, filled with beautiful flowers of various shapes, sizes and colors. One flower in particular caught her eye: a bright red poppy.  
  
Then she remembered from one of the professor's lectures that Conand Tower which lay off in the distance had been utilised in the past to keep out any invaders.   
  
"Battles must have been fought wide and far around this tower, even as far as back here." Marianne whispered. "There are poppies everywhere too. That book from the library said the red poppies grew on the fields of the aftermath of many battles in the past. So this field full of poppies mean that…"  
  
Blood. This ground was stained with blood underneath all the green grass, blood of those who died and went to the Goddess herself.  
  
The image of a crest flashed in her mind.  
  
"I wonder, dear Goddess… if I were to die tomorrow, or if you were to take my life tonight, would I join you?"  
  
Marianne's frown grew deeper. "No. A monster like me won't ever see her, nor deserve her grace."  
  
Marianne sighed and spread herself out amongst the poppies, both red and other colours. She clasped her hands together and prayed.  
  
She prayed for peace for Fodlan.  
  
She prayed for the best for the futures all her classmates at Garreg Mach.  
  
She prayed for those struggling through difficult plights that their prayers may be answered.  
  
She silently begged the Goddess that one day she may reach down and take Marianne away-  
  
"Hey Marianne!"  
  
And once more, the Goddess had other plans for her.  
  
Marianne shifted her body to get a get a view of who had decided to join her, surprised to find Hilda walking up to Marianne on her own volition and effort.  
  
"Oh. Hello Hilda," Marianne replied, watching the Goneril daughter lie down amongst the flowers with her, staring up at the sky. “How did you know I was here, Hilda?  
  
"I saw you leaving to come here," Hilda yawned. "All I had to do was retrace your footsteps, and voila, here I am," Hilda’s eyes didn’t tear away from the sky above, eyes reading the outline of a star constellation.   
  
“Hey, do you see those cluster of stars there, Marianne?” Hilda pointed just above her. Marianne watched as Hilda drew the outline of the shape she had identified; one that Marianne still couldn’t quite make out.   
  
“Um… I think so…?”    
  
“You don’t sound very sure of yourself,” Hilda glanced at her friend, a little disappointed. “Just a little more to the left.” Hilda elaborated, guiding Marianne’s hand. “See there? It looks like they’re fighting.”   
  
Marianne blinked, not getting a grasp on where Hilda was going. “Fighting?”   
  
“Yeah! You see that medium one? It looks like it’s trying to attack the bigger cluster of stars, even if it looks like it has no chance of winning, it still tries anyway,” Hilda explained. “And then there’s that even smaller one near the medium cluster. All it does is just watch. Watch as the medium cluster fights the bigger one, ready to nurse the medium’s wounds when the fight is over. The smallest of the three always wants to say something to the medium one, but it can never speak up. The medium cluster glows brighter than the other two, passionate, bright and loud. But the smaller one doesn’t want to snuff out that fire.”   
  
Marianne swears she sees Hilda’s face turn slightly pink akin to her hair.   
  
“So it looks on, waiting for the day it can confess its feelings to the medium, to be one with its warm light. But it knows that there’s no rush too, that given time, everything will work out in the end.”   
  
Marianne stared at Hilda’s smiling face, the latter’s eyes never moving from the three cluster of stars in the sky. Marianne knew that Hilda’s strong suit in her studies was… well, that was hard to pinpoint. What she could pinpoint was Hilda’s complete lack of interest in any sort of poetry or literature or the like (so much so it surprised Marianne that Hilda hadn’t flunked with her utter laziness). So to hear Hilda trying to speak like she was practicing to write a story for a children’s picture book was certainly strange.   
  
In fact, it seemed entirely uncharacteristic.   
  
“Hilda? I… I don’t understand what you’re trying to say to me.”   
  
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll figure it out, Marianne.”   
  
“No,” Marianne shook her head. “I don’t think I will. All you’ve done is just confuse me…”   
  
“Ugh. Oh Marianne,” Hilda grumbled. “All that effort I put in for once to memorise all that and I still haven’t gotten my point across.” Hilda sat up and pointed at Marianne, poking her nose lightly. “Now, I want you to listen very carefully, okay?”    
  
Marianne nodded slowly.    
  
“If you ever find someone that makes your stomach do flips and makes you all confused- don’t worry about it, okay? You don’t have to do anything about it right away,” Hilda stressed. “I’ve seen you acting strangely lately. When we last cleaned together in the infirmary, you made an even bigger mess than usual; and that’s saying something, because you’re already clumsy as is!”    
  
Marianne looked away in shame. “I’m sorry…”   
  
“Don’t say sorry to me, I just want you to listen, okay? I can tell you’ve become a lovebug, but knowing how you are, you’ll probably berate yourself for having totally normal feelings, In fact, you probably have, haven’t you?”   
  
Marianne shook her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t ‘like’ or ‘love’ anyone in the way you say I do,” she outright denied.   
  
“I’m not sure you’re being entirely honest, Marianne, but I believe you. It’s just that, how else do I explain how strange you’ve been acting lately, Marianne? You’ve gone from clumsy Marianne to extra clumsy Marianne so quickly, it kind of shocked me. I just want to make sure you can go back to normal clumsy, y’know?,” Hilda giggled. “Just think about it, okay? Even if it’s not about love, it’s okay to tell someone about it. I’m sure plenty of people are willing to listen. The professor, Claude, me, Ashe…”    
  
As Hilda’s voice trailed off, Marianne shifted uncomfortably on the ground.   
  
Hilda with a satisfied smile stood on her feet and stretched her arms. “Anyway! I’m going to go see if our tent is up. Lorenz and Sylvain said they’d put it up for us, so don’t be too long, okay? We’ll need all the sleep we can get,” Hilda yawned as she stalked off towards the camp grounds.  
  
“How strange. What on earth was Hilda talking about…?” When Hilda disappeared from sight leaving Marianne on her own, the latter let Hilda’s words sink in.    
  
“It’s totally normal to feel those feelings,” Marianne recited, turning on her side in the grassy field. “I know it is,” she retorted to a long gone Hilda. “But it was just a passing compliment. There’s no need to feel like this over something so silly. I need to get over it. There’s no way he meant it… not for someone like me…”   
  
Marianne fell silent for a little while longer before returning to her tent, Hilda already long asleep. She curled up into her own sheets, eyes falling to the thought of Ashe’s smile before she fell unconscious.   
  
The next day, the army marched upon Conand Tower as grey clouds moved in overhead, covering the sky in grey, as if it were an ill omen from the Goddess herself. As the small army began to disperse themselves into groups, battalions of various sizes joining the likes of the professor, Claude, Lorenz, Sylvain and Ingrid, whilst the rest of the students and soldiers took up their respective formations as directed by their professor. As the army fell into place as Byleth commanded, rain started to fall on them, quickly picking up the pace rather quickly.    
  
Marianne gripped her hand around her steel lance, reciting chants of faith magic to distract her from the Goddess’ tears, desperate to stop them from scaling the tower to take back the Lance of Ruin and to stop Miklan; but for whatever reason, she couldn’t reach out her hand to stop them.   
  
Marianne contemplated at times, if that was why the Goddess hadn’t…   
  
“Marianne!” The young girl was shaken out of her thoughts by a familiar voice, a scrawny boy walking beside her as they began to climb Conand Tower.    
  
“Oh. Hello Ashe,” Marianne greeted awkwardly.   
  
“Feeling nervous?” Ashe asked as they turned a bend to a new set of stairs.   
  
Marianne looked down at her lance. “Yes,” she admitted, her knuckles paled into ghostly white. “I’ve… taken lives with these hands before. I shouldn't be so scared, but I can’t shake this strange feeling in me.”   
  
“Strange feeling?”   
  
“Yes. An ominous one. Like something terrible is going to happen soon.”   
  
“Don’t worry Marianne, we’ll be fine. With the professor, Claude, Gilbert, Jeralt’s mercenaries and the small troop of the Knight of Seiros with us, everything will be just fine,” Ashe reassured her, having placed a hand on her shoulder. Marianne had tensed up upon the contact of his warm hand on her shoulder. Ashe pulled away and visibly flinched. “A-ah, I’m sorry Marianne,” Ashe stuttered. “I didn’t mean…”   
  
Marianne shook her head. “No. It’s okay, I know you meant well. You were trying to comfort me.”   
  
“That was the idea, yes. But of course I decided to be too forward…”   
  
Marianne shook her head. “N-no, it’s fine, you just surprised me is all. I, um… I appreciate you trying Ashe, but I think I’ll be fine.”   
  
Ashe weakly smiled. “Okay then, Marianne.”

The walked continued in relatively neutral silence, neither acknowledging each, too stuck in their own thoughts. Ashe opened his mouth, desperate to air our certain thoughts he'd had regarding Marianne, but knew better than to discuss it so openly.   
  
“The enemy is close by. We’re almost to the top floor,” Gilbert announced next to them.   
  
“Ugh. Why did we have to climb so far before a battle?” Claude complained. “I guess it’s better than having to fight in heavy rain…”   
  
The rest of the trek up was arduous and boring at best, climbing an infinite amount of stairs while keeping an eye out keeping an eye out on any soldiers lying in wait to ambush them on their way up. After some time when those on the front lines had reached the top floor first, clangs of metal and roars began to echo down the staircase as the forces led by the professor and Claude clashed with Miklan’s own forces.    
  
Marianne, Ashe and Gilbert raced up the stairs to the top, weapons drawn and ready on stand-by. When they arrived, the trio quickly joined the rest of the army that slowly began to break formation. Ashe and Marianne worked on instinct to cover their comrades and heal them respectively. Arrows cleanly flew from Ashe’s Steel bow (with the occasional dud), providing fast and effective cover against the mages that stood the next wall over, firing fireballs and other spells when Lysithea was distracted; his arrows along with Claude's also forced infantry (which comprised most of Miklan’s forces) to move back slowly, breaking their defense apart.   
  
Marianne move forward to provide healing on battalion soldiers that struggled to move. Marianne concentrated magic through her body and into her fingertips, reciting the chants needed to activate her magic. The white light clotted bleeding wounds and threaded skin together faster than normal in the hopes of keeping their numbers up as the small army pushed through towards the center of the floor.   
  
Ashe turned his back to see where Marianne had gone, realising he had not seen her since they’d split up. The Gaspard heir searched for her, breathing a sigh of relief when he pinpointed her location at the back wall, healing a struggling Knight of Seiros. The knight in question received a nasty burn on his leg that forced him to remove his armour watching it melt into the ground nearby.    
  
Ashe opened his mouth to call out to her, but the words died in his throat as an enemy materialised near her, weapon slightly raised. Ashe felt panic rush through his body, but took stock of the situation, realising he’d only be able to use his Hand Axe to stop her unknown assailant in time. Ashe pulled his hand axe out of his holster, shaking as he raised his weapon faster to throw it.   
  
Fortunately, Gilbert was faster. Slicing his axe down the chest of the unexpected enemy, Gilbert exclaimed, “Enemies approach from the rear floors! Watch the rear flank!”    
  
Ashe pushed off his heels, hearing the professor shouting orders for someone to assist Gilbert. Whether it was him who was ordered or not, Ashe didn’t care.   
  
“Marianne!” Ashe exclaimed, crouching by her side. “Are you okay?”    
  
The young girl nodded, clearly a little shaken. “I just finished healing this man’s wound, but he…!”   
  
“Don’t worry about me!” the knight roared, hobbling to his feet, sword in hand. “Go! Defend our flank!”   
  
The two students knew better than to distrust a Knight of Seiros, turning their attention to the sudden horde of reinforcements approaching them. Fortunately, Lorenz, Leonie and their battalions appeared, taking Gilbert’s side to push the reinforcements back.    
  
Ashe calmed his breathing, eyeing every shot with as much precision as he could, each arrow landing, piercing flesh and breaking bones. It hurt Ashe to hear their cries of anguish even as low-life thieves, but he knew it was for the best that they be put to a stop.

Even if it had to be the more permanent solution.   
  
Marianne stood by his side, healing the group of soldiers in front of her as best she could in spite of her magic slowly starting to deplete closer to zero. She had vulneraries on stock, but she knew the enemy wouldn’t allow them time to receive any, much less consume them as they desperately charged at the wall before them.   
  
And eventually, their wall cracked. Three men, two from Leonie’s battalion and one from Lorenz’s was sent flying back from a powerful wind spell, cutting apart and tearing parts of their torso open. The bodies fell near Marianne, who reached out to help them on sight, unbeknownst to Marianne, this allowed for a wide line of sight right in her direction. As she got closer, Ashe shoulder tackled her out of the way.    
  
“Marianne, get out of the way!” Ashe exclaimed, the young girl stumbling over and falling against the wall from the surprising force of Ashe’s tackle. Marianne pushed herself up to find Ashe.   
  
“No!” Leonie screamed.  
  
"Inconceivable! Our plan defense was perfect, and now…!"   
  
“Focus! Gilbert bellowed, pulling his axe out of a body on the ground, staining it with fresh blood. “We mustn't let a single one get past us! We cannot allow another one to fall anymore!”   
  
Marianne pushed herself to her feet, hands stained with small gash marks. “Ashe? What happened? Where are… you…?”   
  
Marianne’s whole world came to a stop. Her blood ran cold, blocking out everything except the horrific sight before her. 

In her place where she once stood was Ashe, holding out his hand to her like he did before- only now with an arrow lodged in his throat, blood and bile slowly spilling out of his mouth. Her body screamed to Marianne to push forward, faith magic desperate to leave her fingertips and heal Ashe’s wounded body. His eyes rolled into the back of his head Ashe fell forward, the force of the fall with the ground pushing the arrow further in and out the back of his neck, blood pooling beneath his head and onto the ground.   
  
The voices screaming to Marianne fell silent as Ashe hit the ground. 

Marianne’s legs wobbled, almost collapsing to her knees; whether in fear or sadness- or perhaps something else, she didn’t know.    
  
Marianne let out a hand, as if to desperately join his in vain, tears spilling out of her eyes.   
  
Her heartbeat thumped loudly in her ears, her whole body shaking violently.   
  
She saw the light of a crest- her very own, flash before her.   
  
Marianne saw red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh... that was something huh?
> 
> To be honest, I didn't really plan for the story to go the way it did until halfway through writing this chapter... at what point I had a major epiphany that made me go buck wild at the end.
> 
> Naturally, one would expect something like that to benefit a DimiMari story but I need to feed my rarepair, y'know?
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry, this will be multi-chapter. After all, I haven't gotten around to Byleth , Claude and Hilda shenanigans again :P
> 
> I will admit I kind of... rambled on for a little bit through different parts of the fic, but I still hope you guys enjoyed the read and I hope you all had a great Christmas and an even better New Year!
> 
> P.S Be sure to drop a comment it you have anything to say, even constructive criticisms!


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